Yes, Suri, She's Our Baby...REALLY, SERIOUSLY!!!

The Dianetics Devoted Duo, Katie and Tom have finally let the world take a gander at their special spawn in Vanity Fair.

If you haven’t already picked up your Vanity Fair, let me save you some time and money. The article is basically a puff piece; a well-crafted literary configuration of smoke blowing that overly praises Tom Cruise & family. It’s one big advertising circus.

Among the dozens and dozens… and dozens of ads (literally), there lies a 22 page photo spread that to me resembles a sugary sweet, in your face, Sears Catalogue.

As I thumbed through the glossy pages, I questioned the sincerity of these photographs; these photos are not in any way resembling life-style shots, they are well thought out promotional shots that made me question whether or not Tom and Katie were selling family apparel or even some pharmaceutical drug for depression. Each page comes with cutesy little tag lines, my favorites (not really) include, “Show Me The Baby!” and “Meet The Parents.”

This expose’ on parenthood screams that they’ve got something to hide. If the above wasn’t enough to make you avoid your news stand, there is a tell-tale quote on page 290 that really seals the “Our baby is real and it’s our baby, seriously, don’t you believe us?” deal… There is a picture of Katie and baby Suri together and the quote reads, “I think she has Tom’s eyes, I think she looks like Tom.” You keep telling yourself that Katie, you go right ahead and lie to yourself and America.